- Hey guys.
- Hey, how was your breakfast with Hillary?
- It was okay. She's still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
- Ohh, yeah.
- Well, is this Hillary your HOT assistant chef Hillary?
- Yeah.
- The one that always stares at me when I come in?
- No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way.
- Still I could tell. She was into me. Well, why don't you set us up?
- Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

- Hey guys.
- Hey.
- What's up?
- You know...Oh My God.
- What happened to your teeth?
- I whitened them.
- Really?
- Yeah. What do you think?
- Well, I think I shouldn't look directly at them.
- Come on, seriously.
- Ross they're really, really, really white.
- Yeah, what was wrong with your old...human teeth?
- Ahh, I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.
- How much longer?
- A day.
- Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
- I know. That's why I did it. Come on, are they really that bad?
- No, no no no. You'll be fine. Hillary's blind, right?
- She will be after tonight.
- Yeah.
- Oh, hey, hey Rach, do you notice anything..ahh...
- Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside.

- Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. Nope. Okay, colors that don't work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
- I don't know what I'm going to do. That date starts in like an hour.
- Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldn't look so bright.
- Oh great. So all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you.
- I'm just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.
- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. We're not 13 anymore.

- Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
- But, won't she notice I have makeup on?
- Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on.
- What??
- All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.
- No. I am not putting on makeup.
- Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? OH!! Demon!! Demon!!

- Hey Ross, I was wondering if... Oh my God!! Where are all the men???

- And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
- Mmm-Hmm.
- And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.
- Mmm.
- You know, you're a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.
- Mm-Hmm.
- After a while it's like, shut your mouth, you know?
- Hmm-Hmm.
- I've probably been talking too much. Why don't we talk about you a little bit?
- Mmm-Unmm.
- Come on. I want to know.
- Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, let's talk more about you. Hmm.

- Would you like to move over to the couch?
- Mmm-Hmm.
- Maybe I'll just turn the lights down a little.
- How about all the way.
- Okay.
- Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? So, ahh, where were we?
- Are those your teeth??
- Ohh, you can see them, huh?
- Yes. They're insanely white.
- I did that for you.
- What's a matter with you?
- What's a matter with me? You've got a black light. It's 1999!